Is it normal for your father to start a relationship with your ex-husband behind your back?

My father has never been denied access to his grandchildren. He's been invited to all birthdays, holidays, etc, he has babysat, they have visited etc. But he rarely sees them or asks about them except for holidays. This isn't shocking as he left when I was nine years old and was gone for 10 years. Came back when child support wasn't expected of him anymore. We've never had a problems respecing my kids until now.





Now he has contacted my ex behind my back, set up meetings between my ex and him and the kids and even called my ex instead of me to say he had a present for my son for his bday but never called me who the kids live with. And didn't even contact me to tll me anything, I find out from my son and my ex!





He has always been manipulative, blaming my mother for HIS abandoning his children, never taking any responsibility. I bit my tongue so my kids at least knew him but now he is up to his drama and games again. There is also a court procedure going on with my ex and myself, but we do get along very well considering (me and my ex).





I confronted him and told him it was manipulative and disloyal and wrong to be doing this behind my back and gave a sob story abut how I keep the kids from him, blantantly bullshitting me to my face. He had the kids overnight one week before contacting my ex! So this is a lie he is using as an excuse for his actions. I have told him, considering all he has done, this is the last straw and I want nothing to do with him.





Am I right to be upset?Is it normal for your father to start a relationship with your ex-husband behind your back?
I'd be very upset. You've let him have them over night, etc... There's no excuse for his behavior.


I have a sore spot when it comes to fathers who abandon their children and blame it on others.Is it normal for your father to start a relationship with your ex-husband behind your back?
I was married to a man who has had just about the same behavior your describing with our children.


I have no idea what makes these people the way they are. It is sad for the children. I have watched my kids suffer and make excuses until they got old enough to cut him off themselves.

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It sure sounds like you have every right to be upset. But I also know there are 2 sides to every story. I'm wondering why your father didn't feel like he could come directly to you........
You have the right to feel anything you want to feel. No one can tell you what is right or wrong in this case.

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